Mum’s gone to bed with a headache so had no dinner. Random point her but remember this: Enjoy the little things. Like catching the bus, having funny conversations, stupid things people do (like Rhys breaking the banister on the huts just by leaning on them), random walks down the beach, days with friends, family get togethers, SUMMER! and being told you’re pretty (<– Lewis <3) Decided I have to make a bucket list (things to do before you die).
Aha just remembered Emma’s dad came to pick her up from the bus stop today and we all thought it was a paedo Awkward. Isn’t it weird how people change? It used to be me, Rebecca and Charlotte and now we’re this massive deformed group.
Having my teeth out at the hospital. Thank God but I have to have some taken from the inside the gums. I have had such a good few days. Went to the beach and shopping last with Charlotte, Eve, Esther, Georgia and Rebecca which was good but got sun burnt. Went on dad’s motorbike today for the first time. I was a brave girl 😉 Keep speaking to Alex recently. I like it when people are actually interested in the things I do. It seems like I’m never appreciated but anyway I’m feeling happy. Note to self: Your fave song at the moment is Lullaby by Nickelback. WATCH THE VIDEO!!! Really worried about Jess’s wedding. Will I ruin the photos being gappy and podgey? The other 2 are so pretty.
Urgh so pissed off. Sara’s babysitting tonight so I have to go to Kirsty’s for dinner and to watch TVD. It’s weird how she knows more about me than my mum. I feel like she cares about me more than mum too. You know I said I keep seeing fit boys? Well I saw all of them again today. Most of them sit together for lunch. I think they all have girlfriends though too. Even though it could never happen I still find them fit! Had a good laugh in Maths today. George and Will are so funny! I’m surprised George actually knows who I am to be honest. Josh is really weird. He asked if I was alright earlier but I don’t know if he was serious or not. If he actually cared. Passed my weapon handling test yesterday at the Combined Cadet Force (CCF). but I quit today for good. Saw a bridesmaid dress Jess picked out. Not sure if I like it but I told Jess I did. I will wear it if she likes it. Orthodontic said I need to brush way more and I need about 5 teeth out. So scared!
Note: I’m pretty sure now that Josh didn’t give a crap about me. He was always really mean to me. He thought he was joking but honestly he hurt my feelings more often than not. Also Kirsty is my mum’s best friend and she is lovely but definitely doesn’t care more about me than my own mother, here is an example to classic teenage strop.
I ma so nervous for the orthodontic tomorrow. Why couldn’t I just be normal. I know nothing’s happening but I’m still scared. I keep seeing boys that are really fit. There’s this boy in 6th Form and he is dreamy. I sat next to him on the bus the other day. I also think Sam, Josh, Jamez and Mr Croft 😉 I know that Sam’s taken but he’s hot too. (Note: This is a different same by the way.) Really pissed off. The Vampire Diaries is on Tuesday and I don’t know if I can even watch it! Nik’s not babysitting and Charlotte’s on the French exchange. Miss her already! You get so lonely without your best friend.
Note: Mr Croft was my teacher, I probably shouldn’t have found him fit.
So much to write about.
- Went bowling on the 2nd
- Got The Vampire Diaries book 9 on the 9th
- Completed it by today
- Got Stefan’s Diary 3 yesterday.
I really wish I wasn’t such a twat around Lewis; I’m not sure even if I still like him but a couple of weeks ago he borrowed my phone. He said he needed a phone so me and Rebecca followed him saying he could borrow mine. He took it and dialled his home number but my phone went funny and he thought he’d broken it! I took it back and redialled and this time it worked. He was asking his mum to bring him in some clothes and this was when Rebecca says “Why? Don’t you have some on? Castielle would like that!” I bushed so hard I must have looked like a lobster and everyone laughed at me. But Lewis was did that cute smile he always does and I melted. He hung up and gave the phone back and his hand touched mine. They are so soft and gentle. I keep thinking about really horrible past events at the minute, like Billy’s death. I feel quite guilty about it; if I hadn’t made mum go that day then Sarah may have paid more attention to him and he might not have gone missing. And then I think of Josh. He’s without a brother and I feel like where our parents were childhood friends we should be more friendly but he’s in year 11 and I’m year 9. I als thought about last year when I woke up in the middle of the night to Jason (who had been beaten up) mumbling “Marianne, Marianne.” I was terrified.